Letting Loose
by ncis.is.the.best
Summary: “DiNozzo! David! Why aren’t you wearing any pants?” Crack fic, purely for humour. Implied TIVA.


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Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Just a random one-shot.

Crack fic, purely for humour.

Enjoy.

And please review.

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The elevator doors opened, revealing two very disheveled people, both lacking the same particular item of clothing.

"DiNozzo! David! _Why_ aren't you wearing any pants?" Gibbs asked sternly with his classic 'Gibbs stare'.

Tony pointed at Ziva. "I had nothing to do with it. It was all Ziva's idea," he blurted out and Ziva elbowed him in the ribs. Tony winced and continued, reverting to sarcasm. "Besides, if it were up to me, I'd be wearing pants _all _the time."

"_Sure_ you would," Ziva snorted. "I did not really have to fight with you to get them off."

"But you-" Tony began before he and Ziva were both slapped over the head.

"Hey!" Gibbs yelled.

"Yeah, boss?"

"Shut up," Gibbs said. "What happened out there? I only sent you to bring a suspect into custody."

Tony swallowed. "It's kind of a long story, boss."

"I have time."

"Okay, well…"

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Earlier That Day

"There he is," Tony said, pointing to the man about 20 metres ahead of them.

Ziva nodded and they both made their way towards the man, trying to make as little commotion as possible. "Petty Officer Smith?"

Petty Officer Smith whirled around to face them. After only one glance at the badges in their hands, he took off, dodging the people crowding the footpath. Tony and Ziva didn't hesitate to run after him and only a minute later, they were led to a large abandoned building.

"I think he went through here," Tony breathed.

Ziva shook her head and pointed in the opposite direction. "No, Tony. He definitely went this way."

Tony grinned. "Senior field agent!" he said and ran through the door, giving Ziva no chance but to follow. They ran into a dark room with a high roof and only one small window, far too high to reach. The whole thing resembled a jail cell.

"He is not here, Tony," Ziva said exasperatedly.

"I realized, Zee-Vah," Tony said, turning around to see the door being pulled shut. The sound of the bolt being pushed and a lock clicking echoed around the room.

Tony turned to Ziva grimly. "I'm getting a sense of deja-vu."

Ziva glared at him. "Funny," she said darkly. "That is probably because both times this has happened it has been your fault."

"Now, now, Ziva, there is no point in playing the blame game," Tony shook his head.

Ziva's only response was to pull out her knife and start brandishing it threateningly.

Tony swallowed. "I'll be good."

After twenty minutes of cursing and pacing, Ziva snapped her fingers. "Tony, put your arms out."

Tony shrugged and complied putting his arms out and placing his hands on Ziva's chest.

Ziva glared at Tony. "I was not giving you a free feel. I simply want a boot up to the window."

"Boost," Tony corrected automatically and dropped his hands so Ziva could step in and look out the window. "Oh well, it was worth a try."

"Not really," Ziva muttered, looking around. "We are on the second story, Tony," she dropped down and landed inches from Tony's face. "Take off your pants."

Tony raised his eyebrows and grinned. "I don't think this is really the time…"

"Take off your pants!"

"Okay then," Tony said, wondering what Ziva was planning. He unzipped his pants and pulled them off passing them to Ziva. She laid them out to see how long they were.

"Not long enough. It needs to be long enough to climb down the side of the building on," she muttered and put her hand out. "Shirt."

Tony laughed. "No way. Your turn, Ziva."

"I do not think so," Ziva crossed her arms. "Do you want to get out of here or not?"

"To be honest, the idea of seeing you without pants on is much more appealing right now. I'm quite happy to sit here and wait," At Ziva's look, Tony quickly spoke again. "Besides, your pants would be longer than my shirt anyway."

Ziva glared at Tony and uncrossed her arms, knowing he was right. "Fine," she sighed, shimmying out of her jeans and tying one of the legs of them to Tony's pants. "I am going to need another boost."

Tony grinned. "No problemo."

Ziva turned around and shot Tony a look, glad that her top was long enough to cover her underwear. "If you look up my top I will shoot you," she threatened without a hint of teasing.

Tony shrugged and put his hands out again. "It wasn't like I was going to."

Ziva scoffed. "Oh, liar," she quickly tied the pants to the window frame and threw the rest out the window so that they could climb down.

"I should go first," Tony said. "So that I can test it out."

Ziva laughed mockingly. "I do no think so, Tony. You are not going to watch my butt as I climb down. Besides, I cannot get up to the window myself. "I am sure you can hoist yourself up."

Tony sighed in defeat. "Okay, go."

Ziva got up on the windowsill with Tony's help and climbed down the makeshift rope. There was a significant leap from where the rope ended and the ground started, but she managed to land gracefully. Tony, however, landed on his butt.

"Yeah, yeah," Tony muttered darkly as Ziva made no attempt to contain her laughter. "Call McGee and get him to pick us up."

Ziva stopped laughing abruptly and looked up at the pants, which were way too far out of reach, even with a boost. "My phone is in my pants, Tony."

Tony groaned. "Crap, mine is too."

Ziva threw her arms into the air in frustration. "What now?"

"We could just walk back," Tony said. "It's not that far."

"With no pants on?"

Tony smiled slyly. "Come on, Ziva. Loosen up. It'll be fun."

"This is your idea of fun?" Ziva asked, her voice laced with incredulity.

"Anything without pants is my idea of fun, Ziva." Tony grinned.

Ziva sighed. "Is it just me, or do you get more and more perverted by the day?"

Tony shrugged. "Maybe. It could just be the lack of pants though."

"Come on," Ziva shook her head and began to walk back to NCIS, ignoring the blatantly obvious stares she was getting.

Tony stared at her butt for a while, before running to catch up, a goofy grin still plastered on his face.

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"So yeah, that's about it." Tony finished his recap of the day's events.

Gibbs shook his head and took a sip of his coffee, stepping onto the elevator. "Go put some pants on. If you don't have any, Ducky might have some scrubs," Gibbs knew he really should have been sterner, but he had one more ace up his sleeve.

"Sure thing, boss," Tony saluted.

Gibbs held the door for a moment. "And by the way, Petty Officer Smith turned himself in just a few minutes after you left," he said as the doors closed on him.

Tony turned a few shades paler and Ziva's eyes widened. Together, they went and sat down at their respective desks.

McGee grinned suggestively, obviously having overheard their previous conversation. "Top marks for creativity guys, but what really did happen to your pants?"

Ziva suddenly became very interested in whatever was on her screen and Tony scowled. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Well-" McGee began to say before Tony cut him off.

"Shut it, McPerve."

McGee leaned back in his chair and surveyed his coworkers, already planning his next book in his head.

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A/N: What did you think? Please review.


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